I will never forget the woman in my practice who got very angry at her husband when he started pitching in more around the house—cleaning up after dinner, picking up after the kids, stopping at the grocery store occasionally to replenish needed supplies.

Because arguments about spouses not doing their fair share abound in practice, I felt as if I had landed on Mars. “Weird,” I thought. But I managed to access my inner professional by simply showing curiosity and asking, “What story are you telling yourself about why he is doubling his efforts to help out?”

She replied, “It makes me think that he feels I’m incompetent and that he can do it better than me. I think it’s his job to support our family, and mine is to be responsible for all things related to our home.”

I turned to her husband and asked, “Have you been doing these things because you’re concerned that your wife can’t do a good job?” and he appeared as astonished as I had been initially. “No, not at all,” he said. "I think you are an unbelievable........

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