Mark’s obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) symptoms always flared up at the holidays. Family visits made him feel like unless he had every inch of his house organized, something terrible would happen. He couldn’t say what—it was just a feeling.

His OCD specialist instructed him to follow the gold-standard protocol of exposure and response prevention (ERP):

“Don’t engage any of the deeper questions, that’s just a waste of energy and a trap. Learn to embrace the uncertainty of not-knowing, and then you will live your values."

But it didn’t work, and Mark felt crazier and even more doubtful of his own instincts.

There must be some good reason why his OCD kept returning so fiercely at this most wonderful time of year. He just needed help to safely experience why.

That’s when he came to me.

Mark had grown up with a highly critical mother who only showed love when her home was immaculate and pristine. Not surprisingly, she couldn’t carry her own "messy feelings," and when they metaphorically dropped all over the place, Mark was expected to catch them, name them, and console her, like a doting puppy dog. As if........

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