Riffing, or lighthearted banter, is a special way of co-creating meaning in your relationship. This is because when two people riff together, they’re engaging in improvisation that taps into deeper psychological processes, such as attunement, emotional regulation, identity play, and resilience. It’s a low-key yet powerful ritual that silently reinforces connection in ways couples often overlook.

It may look like an inconsequential exchange, but it goes a long way in deepening the bonds you share as partners. Here are four surprising reasons why riffing together keeps relationships strong.

Emotional regulation is akin to calming yourself in the aftermath of stress or conflict. However, research now recognizes that regulation isn’t always reactive. It’s all the more powerful when it’s preventive. Co-regulation, the process by which two people regulate emotions together, in real time, is essential for sustaining long-term bonds.

Studies using brain imaging have identified networks responsible for empathy, compassion, and understanding others’ thoughts; recent research shows these networks can be enhanced through mindfulness and compassion-based training. Such findings support the idea that relational interactions, even playful ones, have the power to actively rewire the brain, improving emotional resilience and social connection.

When couples riff together by sharing a silly joke or responding to each other’s quirks, they engage these very neural systems. Their mirror........

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