You might notice yourself hesitating before making decisions on your own. Their mood may begin to dictate yours. You might even feel guilty for wanting space and for setting even the smallest boundary. The things that once made you you can start to fade in the background.

This is not just closeness; it’s called enmeshment. When the lines between you and your partner become so blurred that you lose your sense of self: the relationship stops being a connection and starts feeling like something you cannot step away from—even when you need to.

Here are three signs you might be in an enmeshed relationship and what you can do to regain your sense of self.

In a healthy relationship, two individuals support each other while maintaining their respective identities. However, in an enmeshed relationship, you exist as an extension of the other person—as if your role is to reflect their needs and desires rather than have your own.

Over time, your choices start feeling automatic, shaped by what they want rather than what you truly feel. You instinctively adjust to their moods, anticipate their reactions and prioritize their comfort—even at the cost of your own. It doesn’t feel like a sacrifice; it may just start to feel normal.

In research published in the Journal of Mental Health and

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