Why Relationships Matter

Take our Can You Spot Red Flags In A Relationship?

Find a therapist to strengthen relationships

Situationships can create emotional intimacy without mutual clarity or commitment.

Relational ambiguity has been found to increase anxiety, rumination, and attachment insecurity.

Commitment gets stronger when partners integrate each other into their social worlds.

Consider seeking clarity if your situationship creates more anxiety than contentment.

You’ve probably heard of situationships, but they're for other people, right? It means a relationship without a clear definition, between people who usually behave like a couple. When you ask about it, they’ll say, “It’s complicated,” or shrug and say they’re figuring it out as they go. Perhaps they have moments of deep intimacy, and can share their fears and insecurities—but without a shared understanding of the roles they play in each other’s lives. Sometimes they talk every night—and sometimes, almost not at all. They haven’t met each other’s close friends or families, as though their relationship exists in a private bubble. When you hear that a friend of yours is involved in something like this, you might wonder if it’s all that healthy—but what if it describes your relationship, too?

Instead of “situationship,” psychologists might use the term “relational uncertainty.” Defined by Knobloch & Solomon (1999), it means being underconfident about the status of a relationship whose future is unknown. So, is your relationship clear, or is it ambiguous?

Sign #1: You Avoid Defining The Relationship

If you’ve been together a short while, you’ve probably had conversations about “what this is.” Perhaps these talks have been awkward, or you’ve left the terms intentionally vague. Asking for clarity about the future of a relationship can feel like admitting you care enough to wonder where it’s going. So perhaps situationships form because of romantic anxiety: They let people get together without having to have that talk. But over time, as the relationship continues, the likelihood of anxiety grows: Relational uncertainty is usually associated with stress and anxiety, in the form of heightened internal reactivity to cortisol—often known........

© Psychology Today