As my new book, Ditch the Ditty: Doing What Matters Instead of Doing it All, debuted and the compliments started rolling in, my inner critic quietly pulled up a seat and muttered, "Let’s not get carried away."

Even as it hit #1 as a New Release on Amazon, my brain managed to downplay every kind word that came my way. For instance when one person said, “I couldn’t put it down,” my brain, ever ready to undermine the moment, whispered, “They’re just being kind.” Another reader told me, “Your writing is so powerful,” yet all I could think was, “They probably don’t want to hurt my feelings.” When someone shared, “This book really inspired me,” my inner critic reduced it to, “Well, at least they didn't think it was awful.” Even the enthusiastic, “I can’t wait to share this with my friends,” left me thinking, “They don’t really mean it—they're just saying what they think I want to hear.”

No matter how kind or genuine the feedback, my inner dialogue seemed determined to find a way to dismiss it. It was like I was allergic to compliments, constantly downplaying what my co-authors and I worked so hard to create. Turns out, I’m not alone in feeling this way.

For many, compliments are paradoxically both uplifting and unsettling. A kind word about our achievements, talents, or even our appearance can feel undeserved or insincere. This discomfort often stems from deep-rooted insecurities or the nagging voice of imposter feelings, which convince us that we aren’t as competent or worthy as others perceive.

Psychologists attribute this discomfort to cognitive dissonance—the mental tension that arises when our self-perception doesn’t align with how others see us. If you’re your own worst critic,........

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