Perfectionism, at bottom, is a means of coping with a fragile ego. Founded on black-and-white thinking, or the belief that things are either good or bad to be precise, one comes to believe that either they can be good or already are. And what’s good is perfect; what’s bad is everything that falls short.

Narcissistic personality disorder is defined by an exaggerated sense of self-importance, a sense of entitlement due to it, lack of empathy toward others (who are believed to be on lower tiers of the hierarchy), a preoccupation with how one is perceived by others, and a tendency to become defensive when challenged. Whereas the obsessive-compulsive individual uses perfectionism as a blueprint to win others over and gain approval, narcissistic individuals utilize perfection as a mask to gain admirers. They don’t think too deeply about whether or not they’re actually perfect; believing so is good enough.

We often think of perfectionism as “being too hard on oneself,” but narcissism adds a layer to that perpetual shame in the form of

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