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Children suffer when they are repeatedly told they are too much or too little.

They feel the love they receive is conditional—and the conditions are almost impossible to meet.

We can heal from the ways we internalized these messages, and break the pattern instead of passing it down.

Do you remember being told any of these things as a child? You’re too much: Too loud… too angry… too emotional… too needy… too clingy… too bossy…too aggressive… too sensitive… too whiny… too shy… too talkative… you have too much energy and an overactive imagination.

Did your parents or caretakers ever yell at you to shut up, or to go away, or to stop being a baby? Go to your room until you can have a smile on your face. I can’t deal with you right now.

It can be very painful when the people we depend on give us such messages, telling us we are too much.

Alternatively, you may have heard that you were not enough. Were you ever told you were lazy… not living up to your potential… not polite enough… not mature enough… not outgoing enough… not responsible enough… not cooperative enough… not studious enough… too quiet?

Were you pressured to answer questions, to apologize, to explain yourself, or to get off the bench and join the other children?

It can be very painful when the people we depend on give us such messages, telling us we........

© Psychology Today