Self-blame often forms as a survival response in the face of abuse, especially when the person experiencing harm feels powerless or trapped. Blaming ourselves can serve as a way to create a sense of control—because if I did something wrong, then maybe I can fix it or prevent it from happening again. Even though this belief may be painful, it's often easier to accept than considering that someone else chose to hurt us.

Children are developmentally wired to see caregivers as all-powerful and to assume responsibility when something goes wrong. “If someone I depend on is hurting me, it must be because I’m bad.” That logic may seem distorted to a healthy adult, but it’s actually developmentally appropriate for the developing brain. As children, we lacked the emotional........

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