The holidays seem to get mixed reviews depending on the family that raised you. Some families appear to display the traditional Norman Rockwell image of the perfect gathering that most people still yearn for, but we all know there is no perfect family. Families consist of imperfect human beings, and everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses, even if they don’t acknowledge that.

Being a long-time family therapist, I annually hear things like:

“It’s the holidays again; we are going home to family, and I am dreading it.”

“Even though I am an adult now and have a good life, when I go home, my siblings still call me ‘snotnose’ because I was the baby of the family.”

“My role in the family was the scapegoat, so I’m preparing for being blamed for something again this year.”

“I hope my gifts are good enough for my father because nothing we do is ever good enough.”

“I’m the emotional dumping ground for everyone, so I hope I can handle hearing about everyone’s problems again.”

“I’m sober now, but my family drinks up a storm and then argues about everything.”

“I’m so proud of myself and what I have accomplished in my life, but I have jealous siblings who can’t support me, so they chip away at me whenever........

© Psychology Today