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Labels can turn a behavior someone is experiencing into an identity we assign to them.

Language can reinforce dementia stigma or help us see the whole person living with brain change.

The words we choose can either narrow the lens through which we see someone with dementia or widen it.

Imagine a man who gets up repeatedly and walks toward the door of his memory care community. We could call him a wanderer, which is a word that has been used for decades in dementia care. Or we could ask where he is trying to go. Imagine a woman who becomes distressed every afternoon and repeatedly calls out for her husband. We could call her a yeller, or we could wonder what happens for her when the light begins to change, the room gets busier, or she realizes she cannot find the person who has made her feel safe for fifty years. Those may sound like small differences in language, but I don't think they are. The words we choose do more than describe what we see. They can influence what we look for next.

As a caregiver-turned-board-certified neuropsychologist, I have spent much of my life listening to the language we use around dementia. Dementia sufferer. Wandering. Difficult. Burden. She's not the same person anymore. Most people who use these words are not trying to be unkind. Many of these terms grew out of medicine and caregiving, and some remain common in clinical and research settings. But language doesn't simply communicate information. It also gives us a frame through which to interpret another human being. Language can either narrow the lens through which we see someone with dementia or widen it.

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