Meet the four types of special friends who enrich your life: the encourager, tailor, inquirer, and reader.

They know the real you, quirks and all, and use that knowledge to make you feel truly valued.

By understanding how they contribute to your life, you can learn to thank these friends more thoughtfully.

Several years ago, my then-colleague Barry Chung offered to nominate me for an honor in our professional organization. There was one problem: I didn’t think I qualified. I tried to decline. Our conversation went something like this:

Barry: You should apply for [name of the honor]. Joel: You’re joking.Barry: I’m not. You’re definitely qualified.Joel: No, I’m not.Barry: Yes, you are. I’m very confident. I’ve reviewed several nominations for [name of the honor], and you definitely meet the criteria.Joel: There’s no way I can do this.Barry: It doesn’t matter. You don’t have to consent. I’m going to nominate you anyway!

Barry believed in me more than I believed in myself and communicated his belief with persistence. I relented and agreed to be nominated. As Barry correctly predicted, I was eventually conferred the honor he nominated me for. I remain incredibly grateful to Barry.

The Encourager, the Tailor, the Inquirer, and the Reader

I want to introduce you to four types of friends who enrich our lives—the encourager, the tailor, the inquirer, and the reader. Many of us are grateful for people who enrich our lives but lack the vocabulary to explain why.

We default to broad expressions: Thank you for everything! I appreciate your friendship. You’ve always been there for me. But I hope this installment will inspire us to be more specific about how these friends add value to our lives when we thank them. I use the word “friend(s),” but these four types also apply equally well to your co-workers, family members, and partners—anyone who knows you........

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