Why do narcissists so often appear to win—to get their way, advance, or escape accountability—while those harmed by them are left confused, isolated, or doubting themselves?

Narcissists do not succeed because they are smarter, wiser, or more capable than others. Often enough they are not. They succeed because their behavior exploits blind spots—both in human psychology and understanding as well as the systems designed to protect us.

As I noted in my book Dangerous Personalities, the majority of the damage they cause never makes headlines. It occurs quietly, behind closed doors, through manipulation, intimidation, devaluation, harassment, and at times a chilling indifference to human suffering.

One of the most common and costly mistakes we make is confusing a narcissist’s abilities with their pathology. Many narcissists are articulate, decisive, charming, and confident under pressure. They act quickly, detect weaknesses in others with remarkable speed, and appear fearless in the face of difficulty. These traits are rewarded in workplaces, organizations, teams, and even families.

What is rarely examined is why they appear so effective under stress. The answer is uncomfortable: narcissists can remain razor-focused precisely because they lack empathy. They push forward undeterred because guilt, conscience, and concern for consequences are largely absent. Traits rooted in pathology are misread as strength, leadership, or resilience.

Because narcissists can perform well in narrow domains, their destructive behavior is often minimized or excused. “Yes, but he’s brilliant.” “She’s difficult, but she gets results.” Over time, the pathology is forgiven out of convenience, laziness, fear of retaliation, or the belief that only this person can deliver outcomes. The cost of intervention feels too high, so the damage continues leaving behind a “debris field” of human suffering.

For victims, the most painful injury is........

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