I remember the first time I ordered a tonic water when everyone else said yes to the wine.

Suddenly, I felt like the odd one out—like I wasn’t normal. Like I was different… or worse, wrong.

“Everyone else is drinking… it would be weird if I didn’t.” It’s a hard feeling to shake in a culture where alcohol is everywhere. Alcohol shows up at everything—birthday parties, weddings, even baby showers. Every direction we turn, people seem to be drinking—friends, family, co-workers, even people we look up to. In an environment like this, it’s easy to believe that drinking is just what people do—that we have to go along just to be considered “normal.”

Yes, drinking regularly may be the norm right now, but “normal” isn’t a fixed standard. What everyone does is often a changing cultural practice.

A few decades ago, smoking was the thing. Cars came with built-in lighters. People lit up on airplanes. I remember my first international flight at age 5—sitting in the smoking cabin beside my mom, who was holding my newborn sister, while adults around us filled the air with smoke.

But today? Only a small percentage of people smoke, and when they do, they have to leave the building and stand in a designated area. That’s how much norms can shift.

My point is: “norm” shifts, and just because something is normal doesn’t mean it’s good for us.

We’re social creatures. Our brains are wired to scan for what’s acceptable in the group, and then follow that behavior. It's part of how we survived for........

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