Why Relationships Matter

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Intimacy is a fragile agreement based on trust, safety, and security.

Partners need to carve out time to discuss how mundane interactions may be unintentionally landing.

Couples often need guidance on how to communicate authentically and compassionately, even when they disagree.

Many couples come into my office believing that their conflicts are about mundane things, such as who should load the dishwasher or how to reduce their credit card bills, and many of them learn that the real underlying problems are trust, safety, and security. Intimacy is a fragile agreement that is renewed daily, and the signifiers that are read subconsciously by both partners can cause them to feel disrespected and unsupported, which destroys the desire to be intimate.

In his book Role Mate to Soul Mate, relationship expert Dr. Warren Farrell argues that four relatively normal yet bad habits — criticism, complaining, controlling, and complacency — are detrimental to intimacy long before either partner notices that the relationship has grown stale. I love how Dr. Farrell provides a practical map of exactly where the erosion begins (earlier than you think) for........

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