For many people-pleasers, kindness often feels like their North Star. You want to help, support, and make life a little brighter for those around you. On the surface, this seems admirable, but without boundaries, this instinct can lead to exhaustion, resentment, and even strained relationships. Genuine kindness requires something that may feel counterintuitive initially but is deeply transformative: boundaries.

Imagine your coworker, Sarah, regularly struggles to meet deadlines. Every time she asks for help, you jump in, sacrificing your time to ensure she completes her work. You've pulled late nights, canceled personal plans, and worked overtime to save the day. At first, it felt good to be needed, like you were truly helping. But over time, you've started feeling resentful. Sarah has come to rely on your support and has not put much effort into improving her time management. And yet, you're angry with yourself for feeling annoyed because, after all, isn't kindness supposed to be selfless?

This is kindness without boundaries. While your actions were intended to help, they have enabled a cycle of dependence and left you drained and frustrated. More importantly, this pattern is unlikely to truly help Sarah. By always stepping in, you've shielded her from the responsibility of managing her work more effectively on her own.

Now, imagine........

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