When we think about feedback, most of us jump to what needs fixing—what’s wrong, what should stop. But here’s a powerful shift: Instead of focusing on flaws, amplify what’s already good. Why? Because what we notice and encourage tends to grow.

When we ask someone to “do more of that,” we’re inviting them to show up as their best self. We’re not requesting perfection, but appreciating qualities like patience, kindness, thoughtfulness, and preparation.

Research in positive psychology shows that building on strengths creates more lasting improvement than zeroing in on weaknesses (Seligman and Csikszentmihalyi, 2000). Think of it like gardening: Watering flowers makes them bloom; pulling weeds alone doesn’t create an abundant harvest.

Why does this work? Because positive feedback activates the brain’s reward system, releasing dopamine and reinforcing the behavior, making it more likely to happen again (Skinner, 1953; Fredrickson, 2001). Criticism, on the other hand, often triggers a threat response.

© Psychology Today