Why Relationships Matter

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Being wanted is nice but when you are chosen you know you are truly loved and cherished.

Being wanted isn’t bad. The problem is when a relationship contains only wanting.

When you are chosen, you become the one who is loved not the one from whom love is sought or desired.

The cure for feeling unchosen is not finding someone who will choose us, but learning how to choose others.

Most people in relationships have a sense of being wanted, yet many of these same people feel unfulfilled and have a deeper sense of longing. Sure, the relationships are generally good enough, but something seems to be missing. That something is a true feeling of “being chosen.”

Being Wanted vs. Being Chosen

Look at it this way: There are many reasons why someone might “want” you. A friend may want you to keep them from feeling lonely. Or maybe you are exciting, a lot of fun, and can open up social opportunities. A romantic partner might want these same things and also want you for your good looks, the way you make them feel, and for sex. Your child (even your 35-year-old adult child) might want you for the security and stability you offer, the sense that there is always a home to come back to, and for a link to their historical past (and hence a sense of continuity in their life).

Although all this may be true, being wanted might not........

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