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You should research and interview a therapist the same way you check out a company you might work for.

A good therapist will ask you about your goals.

A good therapist will suggest between-session work as well as be helpful in session.

If you don't "click" with the person, look for someone else.

Let’s assume that you’re about to meet with a potential counselor or therapist. It is best to think of this initial meeting—whether it be a 10-minute free phone call or a paid-for first session—as an interview. Most coaches advise you to interview the company that is interviewing you. You are considering working there. Is it a good fit?

Of course, they are interviewing you because they are looking for someone to fill a vacancy. That’s their goal. But you need to keep your goal in mind, too. When meeting a therapist for the first time, ask yourself, "Will this be a good therapist to work with?"

What do you think of their online presence?

Before the meeting with a potential therapist—whether by phone, Zoom, or doxy.me (a HIPAA-compliant platform like Zoom)—check them out online. You can read their Psychology Today and LinkedIn profiles, and you can look at and read some or all of the material they have on their website.

What do you think? Are there any “red flags,” things that cause you to wonder, “Can I work with this person?”

Are there any “red flags” in their online presence?

In the description of their practice, do they seem to suggest that they can “treat” everything—e.g., anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, PTSD, eating disorders, etc.? Research suggests that no therapist or counselor is good at working with every type of problem. In one study of twelve kinds of problems, most therapists were good at treating six. Some weren’t very good at any, and some did harm, so it is reasonable to be careful.

Other aspects of what you read online may be orange or red flags. For example, frequent errors in writing may suggest a lack of care and attention to detail, which could understandably make you wonder how careful they are with confidentiality and record keeping.

Did the person ask about your goals for therapy?

In the first session, did the therapist ask you about your goals for therapy? In the past, most therapy was not explicitly goal-focused. Most therapists encouraged people to talk, and they listened. Now many good therapists are going to specifically ask you what you hope to accomplish in therapy. (For what I think is good modern, integrative therapy, see my post "The 6 Critical Parts of Most Modern Therapy Sessions."

If you go back for a second session, did they review your goals with you? Or does the session turn into what I call “E & E therapy”: empathy (“That sounds very painful—tell me more”) and encouragement (“I’m sure things will get better with therapy”)? No doubt this may make you feel better; just talking to someone about a problem almost always makes us feel better. But feeling better is only one goal. Do they aim to help you learn new strategies and skills for handling old problems? Most people want to do better going forward, not just feel better.

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Did they ask “open-ended” questions or mostly “closed-ended” questions?

Do they mostly ask open-ended questions, or are they primarily closed-ended yes/no questions?

Closed-ended questions—“Did you go to the gym this week?” “Have you tried cutting down?”—can feel interrogative. In contrast, open-ended questions communicate curiosity and genuine interest:

“You said one of your goals is to improve your relationship with your partner. How is that going?”“You wanted to reduce your phone use. What has helped since our last session?”

Did they suggest anything for you to do between sessions?

When psychoanalysis started, it was thought that only what happened in session might help. The idea that you could do therapy on yourself outside of a session was thought to be absurd. The theory was that the source of your troubles is deeply—very deeply—repressed and defended against—strongly defended against—ideas. These ideas are so repulsive that you had to repress them deeply and defend yourself against them. So therapists cannot take a direct approach. They have to wait for leaks in your defenses to occur, like slips of the tongue or missing a session, which could be analyzed in session.

There is absolutely no research to support this theory, and it has largely been discarded by most therapists, but there are hangover effects. Therapists still rely primarily on what happens in session. Between-session work, sometimes called “homework,” is not a key part of therapy—but it should be. And it can be a good indicator of what type of therapist you have started to work with. If no between-session work is suggested, you may want to get another therapist.

Modern therapy increasingly resembles skill-building—much like training for a sport. You need to practice new behaviors between sessions. Insight is valuable, but it is rarely sufficient by itself.

How do they describe the way they work? What “school” or schools of psychotherapeutic thought do they subscribe to, if any?

New therapy schools are a bit like new religions: they provide hope, the key ingredient in change. There are hundreds of kinds of therapy, so if you are confused, join the crowd. Traditional therapy evolved from the psychoanalytic “talking cure” and focused on gaining insight into how our past continues to affect our present thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. This can be very helpful, but insight is usually not sufficient. You have to learn and practice new ways of responding to the pluses and minuses of everyday, modern life. Consequently, modern therapy is more skills-based.

The reasons you are considering therapy will also determine the kind of questions you ask. If you want to work on trauma-related issues, you may want to ask if they do trauma-focused CBT or if they use EMDR. If they do, how did they get trained? If they don’t, why not? How do they work on trauma?

If anxiety and panic attacks are your reasons for seeing a therapist, do they primarily use CBT? What do they think of ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy), a CBT approach that puts more emphasis on mindfulness and values-guided action?

Most therapy research suggests that there are common factors that have the biggest effect on whether or not therapy works—factors such as a client’s motivation and the quality of the working relationship between the client and the therapist. It is not the “brand” or particular technique that makes a huge difference.

But if they specialize in a form of therapy—e.g., CBT, DBT, Schema Therapy, Internal Family Systems Therapy, chairwork—why do they do so? This may be especially important if they adhere to a form of therapy that you have never heard of.

Do you like their sense of humor?

You may be thinking, what does a sense of humor have to do with picking a therapist? I’m assuming that you intend to try to change. That is often difficult to do and may involve falling on your face more than once. Being able to chuckle—gently—about your idiosyncrasies, shortcomings, and pratfalls will help.

It is also possible that a suggestion made in a friendly but somewhat amusing way may get through to you when a more direct, unamusing way won’t.

Should you ask a friend?

I always tell people that I really don’t know how a colleague may work during a session. I usually know another professional because I have met them at a conference, sat on a panel, worked on a committee, or shared a meal with them. I may respect their research or what they have written, but do I really know how they work with a client in their office? No.

Some people, including your friend, may only want someone to talk to—to listen to them and support them. And they may benefit immensely from working with such a person. Gaining insight in many cases won’t by itself be sufficient, but when some people gain insight into their problems, they are able to make the changes between sessions by themselves. Many other people, however, benefit from more structured sessions and from discussing, deciding upon, and doing work between sessions.

Finally, is it a “click”?

The reality is that we “click” with some people and not with others. Often we cannot explain why there is a click or why something is putting us off. Even if you work hard to examine your biases, a sense that something doesn’t feel right shouldn’t be dismissed. Of course, if you have tendencies toward perfection, you will have to be careful not to reject everyone you interview. But if it is not a “click,” and you ignore or push those feelings aside, you will probably regret it.

© Psychology Today