This post is Part 1 of a two-post series.

In our first 5 to 7 years of childhood, we form key, lifelong narratives that tell us who we are, what to expect from others, and how the world generally works. They are the basis for our beliefs, and they influence—if not determine—nearly every decision we make. (For more on narratives and how they develop, check out my related post, “The Surprising Ways Childhood Narratives Affect Us.”)

Here are the most common and influential unhealthy narratives that develop in childhood:

This narrative has two main sources:

a) A child’s natural egocentrism

As the renowned Swiss psychologist Jean Piaget proposed in his four-stage developmental theory, young children are naturally egocentric and have trouble imagining how other people experience things. Because they can’t step into someone else’s mindset, they interpret everything through their own perspective, often imagining that they are at the center of things.

Thus, when something bad happens, they’re more prone to assume they are the cause.

This is especially true when the parent is responsible for the “bad” thing. For example, if a parent is absent or neglectful, the child will believe they did something to warrant the neglect. If parents break up or divorce, the child may believe they are somehow the cause.

b) A child’s need to imagine parents as all........

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