When someone you love dies, you grieve deeply whether overtly or not. We each do that in our own way and on our own timeline. There is no one way to grieve and certainly no one right way to do so. One thing that is universal, though, is that landmark days – birthdays, important holidays, graduations, etc., tend to activate intensified feelings about the loss. This is talked about enough that most people expect that it is a possibility. So, we wanted to reflect on those moments during grieving that can take your breath away as they come unexpectedly with no chance for preparation. We propose a new term for them: “grief surprises”.

Jack is a teacher in his late 40s with 2 children, Lisa, age 6, and Mark, age 10. He began therapy with one of us when his wife Leah died a year and a half ago after a year-long struggle with an aggressive cancer. All 3 of them responded to her........

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