What is wholesome psychological health and how can we achieve it?

We can learn what mental health entails, and that pathways to it can be liberating and healing, too.

Wholesome mental health is a state of flow, a combination of well-being, groundedness, resilience, balance in relationships, boundaries, self-esteem, and an unconditional assent to the givens of life. We experience such mental health in many ways. Here are some prominent examples:

We do what it takes to fulfill our physical and psychological goals of surviving and thriving.

We have a sense of self-worth.

We generally have peace of mind and openness of heart.

We trust our abilities and our inner resources.

We are capable of coping with the stresses of daily life resiliently.

We can flow with our ever-changing circumstances, feelings, and moods.

We align ourselves with reality rather than illusion.

We make peace with our past.

We recognize our triggers and do not fall prey to inappropriate reactions to them.

We see through and deal with our own self-generated anxieties.

Our fears do not stop or drive us.

We can work effectively both alone and with others.

We can balance work and play.

We can put off immediate gratification in favor of long-term goals.

We are assertive enough to ask for what we want, express our feelings, and stand up for what we believe in.

We live in accord with our own deepest needs, values, and wishes rather than those of others.

We are free of inhibition, hiding, or escaping, especially through addictions.

We are able to respect the boundaries of others and preserve our own while remaining flexible.

We have the capacity to trust others when appropriate.

We are trustworthy in our relationships.

We are able to enter an intimate relationship and be effective in it.

We work on conflicts that may arise in ourselves and our relationships, or we seek professional help to do so.

We tame our ego, and we act respectfully and cooperatively with others.

We contribute to our community.

We accept the things we cannot change; we take steps to change what needs to be changed; we keep gaining the wisdom to know the difference.

We have a sense of humor and optimism most of the time.

All of these together constitute the main ingredients of a healthy personality. We find them in a Psychology 101 textbook.

We do notice, however, that they may be interpreted within an Anglo-Saxon cultural bias, rugged individualism. A full description of a healthy personality cannot be based entirely on the recommendations of Freud and other northern European physicians. They were at times caught in Cartesian dualisms, dividing mind and body, conscious and unconscious, individual and social.

An integrated view is unlikely to emerge from those divisions. We can keep in mind that mental health only happens fully in a context of support from and collaboration with others. Otherwise, it is not in keeping with our social nature. We are not “the little engine that could.” We are part of a fleet, every vessel helping all the others, only arriving at our port of call together.

Our individual goals certainly reflect our lifestyle and history. But we also have common goals such as co-creating communities of cooperation, co-forming a world of interdependence, and co-caring for our planet. As we change the lens through which we look out at the world, we begin to look out for the world. Combining peace, spirituality, and a sense of service forms a unified foundation for that achievement. Indeed, we progress as individuals only as the evolution of all beings progresses. This takes conscious connection and collaboration, drivers of evolution.

Do we keep doing what doesn’t work? Do we stay stuck, or do we look for help so that a change can happen? This choice also tells us who we are.

The state of being stuck is opposed to the inner orientation to go on a journey—the evolutionary drive in all of us. But whatever has become unhealthy in us is not the final word. We always have inner resources, and we can always engage in practices that move us toward psychological health. We keep in mind, regarding stuckness, that sometimes it is connected to trauma. If that is the case with us, we can find help from a therapist trained in trauma-somatic work. We then progress, albeit slowly and patiently. Even the slowest pace is still a journey.

Keeping in mind the integration of contentment, spirituality, and beyond, we turn to an analogy: the metamorphosis of a caterpillar. He transcends the fuzzy, but in the moment, true version of himself. He is then transformed into the glory of his own full identity, what was there all the time just waiting to appear. With practice, we too transcend sanity alone to become the spiritually alive beings that we always and already are. All we leave behind is the part of us that was afraid of this extraordinary transfiguration.

Adapted from Wholeness and Holiness: How to Be Sane, Spiritual, and Saintly.

© Psychology Today