How to Negotiate With Your Inner Critic
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In internal family systems therapy, your inner critic is called a protector.
Even if they are loud, harsh, and negative, they are genuinely trying to help.
But they do need managing at times, using a calm, collaborative approach.
Because I have a new book out, I am doing lots of work to promote it, like writing blog posts, magazine articles and columns, being interviewed by various journalists and appearing on, to date, three podcasts. I have mostly enjoyed these things, even though some of them (writing) are much more in my comfort zone than others (podcasts).
But I recently noticed my inner critic getting very loud and uncomfortably forceful. This part of me is, of course, critical. But he (I don't like calling parts "it," as it seems a bit demeaning to me) is also highly perfectionistic, pointing out any little mistake I have made and urging me to do better next time.
On the most recent podcast, I/my critic felt I could have done much better at three specific points in the hour-long chat. To be clear, I was very happy with at least 90% of my answers. The hosts were kind and thoughtful. Overall, it was a very enjoyable experience. But........
