Understanding Child Development

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Experiences of trauma or neglect in childhood create mental schemas, which make us feel empty or defective.

But these schemas are not fixed in the brain and can be healed with trauma-informed therapy.

Healing schemas is possible—understanding their roots is a crucial first step to change.

This is the second post in a series.

In my last post, I explored some of the painful mental schemas that can develop due to childhood trauma or neglect. To recap, a schema is a template in your brain for how to respond to something you experience often. We all have schemas for tying our shoes, telling the time and reading sentences in English, like this one. But Dr. Jeffrey Young, founder of schema therapy, discovered a number of "early maladaptive schemas" (often shortened to "schemas"), which are ways of thinking, feeling, and behaving in response to painful experiences, usually in childhood.

Let's look at three more trauma-related schemas—it might be helpful to journal as you read this post, especially if any of these schemas resonate with you, to make sense of your experience and how it might have led to these painful ways of responding to triggers as an adult.

Emotional Deprivation

This schema forms when you are deprived of emotional support and connection by your caregivers—usually your mother or father, but for some people that may be a grandparent, other family member, or adoptive/foster parents. Dr. Young has identified three forms of deprivation:

Deprivation of Nurturance

Deprivation of Empathy

Deprivation of Guidance and Protection1

If you were deprived of these emotional nutrients as a child, you may now feel empty inside, yearning for the love and support you craved but didn’t receive. It feels like having a big hole in your chest that can never be filled, no matter how much love you get. This schema forms in a family of origin that was cold and unemotional. For example, one or both parents may have had substance-abuse issues and were too emotionally absent to meet your needs for love and affection. You may have had a narcissistic parent, obsessed with your physical attractiveness or academic success because that made them look good. If you excelled, you would have received praise, but........

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