The Challenges of Divorce

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Four paws, a wagging tail, and unconditional love can bring happiness and healing after gray divorce.

Research found what dog lovers have always known: the human-dog bond is real, strong, and supports healing.

Dogs provide non-judgmental love, daily purpose, and loyal companionship for well-being after gray divorce.

Gray divorce refers to couples 50 and older ending their marriages. Researchers Brown et al. found that the divorce rate for this age group doubled between 1990 and 2010. Today, nearly 40% of all divorces occur in this population.

Every day in my clinical practice, my therapy dog Friede and I witness patients struggling with the myriad losses that so often accompany later-life divorce. Sadness, loneliness, and lack of connection with others contribute to physical and mental health issues like appetite and sleep disturbance, social isolation, depression, and anxiety. As their therapist, I am always looking for skills, tools, and interventions to offer them to help ease their pain and develop the life they seek.

Kathleen, 60, divorced nine years ago and has struggled with lingering sadness, loneliness, and mild depression. She began therapy several months ago. She and my therapy dog, Friede, snuggled on the love seat in my office. She softly stroked Friede's head, looked at me, smiled, and began.

"The research-based findings about happiness you gave me a few sessions ago challenged me to action, and I've moved out of the dark place I was in. I know I'm still grieving all the losses from my divorce, and I'm willing to keep doing that grief work. Things are going well with my two dear friends, my significant other, and our community work. I'm still lacking a companionship that I can't quite describe. What do you think it's about?" She paused and put her hand on Friede's head on her lap.

"I've been thinking about what you told me about how much you enjoyed having dogs when you........

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