The Challenges of Divorce

Take our Relationship Satisfaction Test

Find a therapist to heal from a divorce

Many seek happiness after gray divorce, yet feel lingering sadness years later.

Strong relationships, purpose, and shared community are key components of lasting happiness.

Kindness, generosity, and focusing on something bigger than oneself increase emotional well-being.

When couples 50 and older end their marriages, it's known as gray divorce. Researchers Brown et al. found that, in 1990, eight percent of all persons divorcing in the U.S. were age 50 or older; today the percentage is 36 percent.

Reasons for this phenomenon abound:

Societal attitudes about divorce have changed.

Many older adults rank happiness, well-being, and having a fulfilling life higher than honoring the traditional expectation of "till death do us part."

People are living longer and are unwilling to accept staying in a marriage that is unhappy, abusive, with poor communication, financial infidelity, or addiction.

After a gray divorce, many people struggle to find the happiness they hoped for.

Kathleen, 60, divorced her husband nine years ago. She sat speechless on the love seat in my office, her tear-filled eyes staring at me. I broke the silence.

Carol: Sometimes it's difficult to know where to start.

She wiped the tears from her eyes with a tissue.

Kathleen: When I divorced David, I didn't expect that all these years later I would still be so unhappy. I don't think I'm clinically depressed. I'm just so sad.

Our session continued. She said a friend of hers told her she needed professional help. She shared that over the years after the........

© Psychology Today