Former victims of child abuse often make the same types of New Year’s resolutions as everyone else, such as losing weight or getting in shape. But if you suffered from emotional, physical or sexual abuse as a child, I urge you to consider making a different resolution this year, one that is specifically targeted at taking care of yourself in another way, namely, healing your childhood abuse.

The following are some ideas for creating such resolutions. Choose one or all of these ideas for your New Year’s resolution.

1. Continue to Face the Truth

It can be extremely difficult to admit to yourself that someone you love (your father, brother) or someone you deeply respect (your teacher, coach) could have treated you in such an unloving, selfish and cruel way because you want to preserve the good feelings you have toward this person. It is far easier to make excuses for their behavior, or the most common tactic of all—blame yourself.

You may also want to avoid the shame, pain, fear and sense of betrayal that acknowledging the abuse would cause you to feel. Instead the abuse is either walled off from conscious awareness and memory or minimized, rationalized, and excused, so that whatever did happen is not considered abuse.

You may also avoid acknowledging that you were a helpless victim. It can be humiliating to admit that another person could have overpowered you. And in the case of sexual abuse, it is especially degrading to admit that someone was able to manipulate you into doing things you did not want to do.

It can also be difficult to trust your memories about childhood abuse, which are often vague and may seem........

© Psychology Today