There are certain external factors that can remind you of past trauma and "trigger" abusive behavior.

Discovering your particular triggers will help explain why it is that you sometimes become abusive.

Admitting and naming your abusive behavior can be extremely healing for both your victim(s) and for yourself.

This is the fifth in a series on how to identify and eliminate abusive behavior.

Step 4: Determining what your triggers are

Abusive behavior often occurs after you have encountered a trigger in your current environment. A trigger is anything your mind perceives to be similar to a past traumatic event, such as a location, tone of voice, topic of conversation, or a scene in a movie. Many triggers are interpersonal; for example, perceived rejection, abandonment, criticism, boundary violations, and yelling or mistreatment are common interpersonal triggers. Other triggers may be non-personal, such as certain sounds, smells, and tastes.

Because it is common to become emotionally abusive (yelling at your partner, blaming your partner, becoming overly critical, or other behaviors) after you have been triggered, you can ascertain exactly what your triggers are.

Exercise: Spot Your Triggers

Begin by creating a triggers list, noting the situations, environments, and times that typically set you off.

I have provided a list of the most common triggers that those who have a history of neglect or abuse in childhood have. Read the list carefully and put a check mark next to each item that tends to trigger you.

Common Triggers for Those Who Have Become Abusive

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