This is Part Three of a three-part series. You can read Part One here.

You might have a father, mother, or siblings who do not meet you halfway and want to spend time with you on their own terms. “I’m dreading having to be in the presence of my mother-in-law,” admitted Federica in a recent conference.

Placating family members may feel threatening to the person you have become. This threat to your personal identity will likely induce anxiety within you.

Further, you may be feeling anxiety about anticipated family conflict. History may have demonstrated to you that no holiday season is complete without “The Family Blow Up,” which you would like to avoid at all costs, yet know is somewhat inevitable.

“I have to see my parents,” shared Candace, “and there are a lot of issues to resolve. Not to mention I’ll be bringing my boyfriend, whom they have expressly informed me is not the right person for me.”

You can reduce your anxiety through acceptance—embracing that when people care about each other and spend a lot of time together, differences easily become amplified. The alternative (no closeness, no tension)—as I write in my book

© Psychology Today