Most of us were never taught how to choose a life partner. We feel attraction and assume that will be enough. Maybe we love someone and think that love is all we need for a successful long-term relationship or marriage. Many of us end up learning by trial and error without a solid framework to guide us.

For most people, the relationship patterns we witnessed between our parents and the other people close to us play a huge role in who we choose. For some, that’s great news. They grew up with role models who were loving, respectful, and inspiring. They naturally gravitate toward similar dynamics.

For others, those early templates lead to relationships that feel familiar, but aren’t necessarily healthy or satisfying.

Back in my dating days, I was fortunate to be introduced to a simple four-criteria formula for choosing a life partner. I learned it from a........

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