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Bedtime stalling is often a bid for connection, not simply a refusal to sleep.

Children need connection before they can comfortably tolerate separation.

Predictable connection helps children feel secure and settle to sleep more easily.

Small moments of undivided attention can reduce bedtime battles and strengthen attachment.

If you've ever found yourself saying, "Just go to sleep!" after your child has requested one more hug, one more story, one more sip of water, and one more existential question about dinosaurs or death, you're not alone.

Bedtime can be one of the most frustrating parts of parenting. After a long day, many of us (myself included) are racing toward the finish line, hoping for a few quiet moments before our own heads hit the pillow. But what if some of the behaviors we label as bedtime stalling have a deeper meaning?

For many children, bedtime is the one part of the day when they have a parent entirely to themselves. The bustle of school, work, sports, dinner, homework, and errands finally quiets. They instinctively want to hold onto that feeling of love, safety, and belonging for just one more story, one more kiss, or one more minute together.

Children need connection in order to tolerate separation.

It's no coincidence that children's biggest worries and deepest questions often emerge just as the lights go out. With no soccer practices to rush to, no lunches to pack, and no homework demanding attention, their external world finally becomes quiet enough for their inner world to be heard.

The child who spent the afternoon........

© Psychology Today