As a child of the 90s, it’s probably no surprise to hear that I have a fondness for a specific era of 2D platformers. Even today, I love opening up Nintendo Switch Online’s Super NES catalogue and jumping into a game I missed as a kid to experience the sights, sounds, and overall vibe of a game shaped by the ‘90s. That fondness seems to be shared by a lot of today’s game developers, considering that retro is all the rage right now. You don’t have to look far to find new games that pay homage to the golden age of the sidescroller, with even some of today’s biggest blockbuster game franchises looking back to the past for reinvention.

Thrilled as I am by that trend, it’s also one that has given me a new list of video game pet peeves to stew over lately. If you’re going to draw on the language of retro games, you’ve got to give me something more substantial than some nostalgic pixel art.

While I’ve felt some version of that gripe on and off for years, it has grown into a full-on grievance thanks to two recent releases. The first is God of War Sons of Sparta. The 2D Metroidvania certainly looked the part of an old-school game when it was first revealed during a PlayStation State of Play in February. Its debut trailer showed off a reimagined take on God of War that traded in 3D spectacle for 2D action and pixelated bloodshed. At a glance, it........

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