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Rating 2026 Oscar looks — From the good to whatever the hell Gwyneth Paltrow was thinking

Showing off their bizness

I rate the Oscars four oys. Best gowns were Demi Moore’s Gucci, Nicole Kidman’s Chanel, best of all — Kirsten Dunst’s simple quiet design — perfect. The cut, excellent. An elegant black Celine. No fuss, no feathers, no flowers, no friggin’ beads. Black.

Gwyneth Paltrow’s dressmaker maybe specialized in peeing. Her white gown was wide, WIDE, W-I-D-E open on both sides. Ready immediately to engage a toilet. So practical. Frig the camera. This way she was immediately available for a colonoscopy.

The pre-Oscar chit chat. Nobody’s chest was covered. You could’ve had an MRI while on camera. More hairpieces than a gorilla. Hair down sides of the face. Cheeks tighter than body parts. Boobs peeking out. Sculpted behinds grabbing more space than Mt. Etna. The red-carpet banter? Biden in the can was more interesting.

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Newly arrested cons who were asked: “Want to watch the Oscars?” would’ve preferred the cell.

Ceremony host Conan? Able. But next time, less red hair dye. Too bright. Too dyed. Too all-over red. Comparatively, a firetruck would’ve looked pink. Somebody tell the colorist they’re not getting paid per strand.

Life today is tough, strained, difficult. No jobs. No money. No happiness. So nice to see people happy, smiling, applauding, excited, dressed up beautifully — it was a treat.

A little movie history now: In ye aulden days theatrical dames Joan Plowright, Judi Dench, Maggie Smith, Diana Rigg nixed attending major honors . . . Paul Scofield even turned down a knighthood.

A lifetime ago when I visited her in the old country and she made soda bread for me, Vanessa Redgrave supported the Workers Revolutionary Party — an extreme Marxist group.

“Easy Rider” was originally titled “The Loners.” “Pretty Woman” originally titled “3000.” And “West Side Story”? Its beginning title was “East Side Story.” F. Scott Fitzgerald’s great novel was “Incident at West Egg.”

“Gone With the Wind.” The O’Hara plantation was first known as Fontenoy Hall. Its working title — “Tote the Weary Load.” Rhett Butler’s memorable last line was an original no go. After producer Selznick finessed the censors, they kept the original: “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.”

“The Exorcist” and its many prequels/sequels? Director Paul Schrader was canned for turning in an unscary movie. New director Renny Harlin said: “I have nightmares virtually every night — even if I take a nap. Nightmares are the source of my creativity.” He then became the new director for “Exorcist: The Beginning.” 

Harrison Ford once told me: “I do no extraordinary fitness training for fight scenes. All moves are choreographed on a stage at rehearsal so it’s more a dance than anything else.”

Cameron Diaz took breathing lessons to combat a nervous stomach, which plagues her whenever she makes a movie. “Everyone deals with stress differently. Birds pull their feathers out. I get a very painful stomach. It’s still stressful but now I’ve learned how to breathe.”

So this needy guy asked a friend to loan him $500. The friend was silent. The needy one said: “You owe me an answer.” The friend replied: “Better I owe you an answer than you owe me $500.”

Only in New York, kids, only in New York.

Cindy Adams Rating 2026 Oscar looks -- From the good to whatever the hell Gwyneth Paltrow was thinking

Rating 2026 Oscar looks -- From the good to whatever the hell Gwyneth Paltrow was thinking

Daniel McCarthy Schumer's shutdown gambit gets riskier by the day

Schumer's shutdown gambit gets riskier by the day

Kirsten Fleming Face it, Hollywood — you're boring viewers with your self-righteous, out of touch, navel-gazing Oscars

Face it, Hollywood — you're boring viewers with your self-righteous, out of touch, navel-gazing Oscars

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