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Italian vacations are bellissima — until it’s time to say ‘Ciao!’

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Heat fuels a travel meltdown

Naples airport. Once 12 flights a day. Every behind in every seat, probably even in the john. A Boeing 747. So busy the airport could’ve started its own city. Bustling, although you can still buy fresh mozzarella that’s packed in Styrofoam to schlep home.

This was to be a nonstop full plane to Newark. 214 passengers. The day is hot, sweaty.

Some new registration of non-Europeans means passport control is now a good 90 minutes. Probably some leftover order Mussolini stuck in his will. Behinds get into seats. Purser gets on a mike. People know this is not a good sign and possibly worse than the coffee.

Voice: “We’re assigned an unusually northern route over Iceland. This means extra fuel.” Italian authorities don’t allow refueling with passengers aboard. “So buses are coming back to bring passengers to the terminal again.”

Yeah, right. Rumpled perspiring bodies line up. It’s broiling. The aircraft could have run on perspiration alone. All lumber back to the........

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