Share this Story : National Post Copy Link Email X Reddit Pinterest LinkedIn Tumblr

What we've lost (7): Manners

Amy Hamm: Canadians, despite the old stereotype about being some of the politest people on earth, are seriously lacking in manners

You can save this article by registering for free here. Or sign-in if you have an account.

The past 10 or 15 years have not been kind to Canada. Along with a decline in prosperity has come an erosion of the things that made our society great, a decline of what held us together and made us the envy of the world: things like resilience, friendship and service. In this series, National Post writers consider What We’ve Lost.

Enjoy the latest local, national and international news.

Exclusive articles by Conrad Black, Barbara Kay and others. Plus, special edition NP Platformed and First Reading newsletters and virtual events.

Unlimited online access to National Post.

National Post ePaper, an electronic replica of the print edition to view on any device, share and comment on.

Daily puzzles including the New York Times Crossword.

Support local journalism.

Enjoy the latest local, national and international news.

Exclusive articles by Conrad Black, Barbara Kay and others. Plus, special edition NP Platformed and First Reading newsletters and virtual events.

Unlimited online access to National Post.

National Post ePaper, an electronic replica of the print edition to view on any device, share and comment on.

Daily puzzles including the New York Times Crossword.

Support local journalism.

Create an account or sign in to continue with your reading experience.

Access articles from across Canada with one account.

Share your thoughts and join the conversation in the comments.

Enjoy additional articles per month.

Get email updates from your favourite authors.

Create an account or sign in to continue with your reading experience.

Access articles from across Canada with one account

Share your thoughts and join the conversation in the comments

Enjoy additional articles per month

Get email updates from your favourite authors

Sign In or Create an Account

Manners are a proxy for the stability of a culture. Manners, though trivial at times (such as choosing the correct fork during a multi-course meal), also constitute a useful code of conduct that is a reflection of the respect — or disrespect — that we hold for one another.

What we've lost (7): Manners Back to video

Canadian culture is not stable these days — are we “elbows up,” “elbows down,” Maple MAGA, a genocidal post-national state or something else entirely? — and Canadians, despite the old stereotype about being some of the politest people on earth, are seriously lacking in manners.

This newsletter tackles hot topics with boldness, verve and wit. (Subscriber-exclusive edition on Fridays)

There was an error, please provide a valid email address.

By signing up you consent to receive the above newsletter from Postmedia Network Inc.

A welcome email is on its way. If you don't see it, please check your junk folder.

The next issue of Platformed will soon be in your inbox.

We encountered an issue signing you up. Please try again

Interested in more newsletters? Browse here.

There are both obvious and subtle examples. It seems obvious to me, at least, that it’s rarer for strangers to hold doors open for others than it was a decade ago. People often need to be told to give up their seat on a bus for elderly people or pregnant women.

We wear pyjamas to the grocery store without shame. And too many drivers are aggressive and selfish on our roads. (These are my personal observations, though they are borne out by at least one 2025 survey, in which 51 per cent of respondents said they felt Canadians were becoming “less polite.”)

The less obvious: we appear to be more crass and unrestrained in expressing our thoughts.

I grew up understanding the adage about not talking politics or religion in certain circles or settings. To do so would be an affront to the social order. It could alienate others and even destroy personal or professional relationships. Why would anyone want to do that?

There used to be an agreement, of sorts, that we could judge others by their principles and demonstrated behaviour, without ever having to know what party they voted for in the last election. Our respect for others did not used to depend on whether they hold, and constantly espouse, the “correct” opinions. Those days are gone.

What we've lost (6): Nationalism

What we've lost (5): Service

Advertisement 1Story continues belowThis advertisement has not loaded yet, but your article continues below.document.addEventListener(`DOMContentLoaded`,function(){let template=document.getElementById(`oop-ad-template`);if(template&&!template.dataset.adInjected){let clone=template.content.cloneNode(!0);template.replaceWith(clone),template.parentElement&&(template.parentElement.dataset.adInjected=`true`)}});

The history of manners is littered with examples of how social change, such as the sexual revolution of the 1960s, coincides with loosening adherence to social norms and manners. These examples typically involved push-back against the bourgeois or the powerful through a rejection of established manners — manners that often stratified our culture into social classes.

READ THE ENTIRE WHAT WE’VE LOST SERIES

Yet today’s erosion of manners feels different, less about challenging authority or promoting much-needed social change and more about cheap virtue-signalling.

Regardless, we’ve been thinking and talking about manners for centuries.

Consider Erasmus Jones (1817-1909), author of the book, “The Man of Manners.” Many of his suggestions on manners had to do with eating, spitting and relieving various bodily functions. (“We must cut our meat into small pieces, and not take them too big into our mouths, that they may make our cheeks stick out,” Jones wrote.)

U.S. border agents searching electronic devices is way up. Smartwatches, SIM cards and flash drives added to the list Canada

U.S. border agents searching electronic devices is way up. Smartwatches, SIM cards and flash drives added to the list

Canadian mother of four dies after cosmetic surgery in Turkey Canada

Canadian mother of four dies after cosmetic surgery in Turkey

Advertisement 2Story continues belowThis advertisement has not loaded yet, but your article continues below.document.addEventListener(`DOMContentLoaded`,function(){let template=document.getElementById(`oop-ad-template`);if(template&&!template.dataset.adInjected){let clone=template.content.cloneNode(!0);template.replaceWith(clone),template.parentElement&&(template.parentElement.dataset.adInjected=`true`)}});

Your private property may not be safe from Aboriginal-title court cases: Full Comment podcast NP Comment

Your private property may not be safe from Aboriginal-title court cases: Full Comment podcast

‘All eyes are on Canada,’ says Israel’s president after attacks on Toronto synagogues Canada

‘All eyes are on Canada,’ says Israel’s president after attacks on Toronto synagogues

Subscriber only. FIRST READING: How race-based hiring is coming to define Canada Subscriber only NP Comment

Subscriber only. FIRST READING: How race-based hiring is coming to define Canada

He also addressed how we express ourselves to one another.

“Some people think without talking, and some talk without thinking. Some have scarce an ideas to their words, and some have scarce any words for their ideas. Both are faulty, and both ought to cure themselves of their respective imperfections; these by thinking less, and those by thinking more; these by learning the art of talking, and those by learning the art of thinking,” wrote Jones.

His suggestions are useful for modern-day Canadians. There is perhaps no better example of our poor manners than what he describes: people who earnestly believe they have much to say, and say it, despite having never performed the requisite thinking to inform their ideas.

The only barrier to becoming a modern-day political “thought leader,” many Canadians seem to believe, is having an email address to sign up for a social media account. Forget sharing photos of your kids, or your dogs, for friends to see — what’s most important now is to tell the world that you are better than anyone who doesn’t agree with your take on the “Current Thing.”

I don’t want to know the politics of every acquaintance, every parent I meet at my son’s soccer games or every barista who chooses to emblazon herself with pins and flags to signal fealty to various social movements. I’m sick of it. I no more want to be made privy to the bowel habits of a given stranger than I want to be made privy to their political leanings.

In fact, I daresay I’d prefer to hear someone pass gas than hear them discuss their refusal to travel to the United States in today’s political climate ad nauseam. The former is at least more likely to be novel, and funny.

I say this, by the way, as someone who happens to express political views for a living. I understand that this argument may trigger some people’s sense of irony.

Here’s the caveat: I know that it is rude to express my views in certain situations, such as in the company of close friends or people who have expressed a desire to discuss such matters. You, dear reader, are here reading this of your own volition — at least I hope.

It is easy to understand how the erosion of certain manners, such as the ones that historically prohibited spitting, urinating or defecating indiscriminately in public spaces, coincides with an erosion of our societal cohesion and stability more generally.

What’s less obvious is how the erosion of manners when speaking — or not speaking — about politics is tied to the same type of decline.

It is rude to bring your politics with you everywhere you go, in all social and professional spheres — particularly when politics are used as a cudgel to bash or shame potential detractors. We used to know this.

Next up in What we’ve lost: Marriage

Share this Story : National Post Copy Link Email X Reddit Pinterest LinkedIn Tumblr

Postmedia is committed to maintaining a lively but civil forum for discussion. Please keep comments relevant and respectful. Comments may take up to an hour to appear on the site. You will receive an email if there is a reply to your comment, an update to a thread you follow or if a user you follow comments. Visit our Community Guidelines for more information.

Hot sleeper? These are the cooling sheets worth buying Sheets from Hush, Endy, Anthropologie and more 15 hours ago Sleep

Hot sleeper? These are the cooling sheets worth buying

Sheets from Hush, Endy, Anthropologie and more

Made-in-Canada skincare supports skin at every stage of life 'I’ve never been interested in masking aging or chasing youth,' says Graydon Skincare founder 16 hours ago Life

Made-in-Canada skincare supports skin at every stage of life

'I’ve never been interested in masking aging or chasing youth,' says Graydon Skincare founder

B.C.'s thrilling new lookout to be Canada's first sky-high glass cube experience Suspended hundreds of metres above sea level, the attraction will offer panoramic views of Vancouver Island 16 hours ago Travel

B.C.'s thrilling new lookout to be Canada's first sky-high glass cube experience

Suspended hundreds of metres above sea level, the attraction will offer panoramic views of Vancouver Island

Advertisement 3Story continues belowThis advertisement has not loaded yet, but your article continues below.document.addEventListener(`DOMContentLoaded`,function(){let template=document.getElementById(`oop-ad-template`);if(template&&!template.dataset.adInjected){let clone=template.content.cloneNode(!0);template.replaceWith(clone),template.parentElement&&(template.parentElement.dataset.adInjected=`true`)}});

Best standup comedy shows in Canada near you this week Darcy & Jer, Michelle Buteau and Jimmy Carr are on sale now 16 hours ago Entertainment

Best standup comedy shows in Canada near you this week

Darcy & Jer, Michelle Buteau and Jimmy Carr are on sale now

Canadian Gen Z skiers can now get an Epic Pass for much less Vail Resorts is cutting the cost of its pass for young skiers and snowboarders ahead of the 2026-2027 season 17 hours ago Travel

Canadian Gen Z skiers can now get an Epic Pass for much less

Vail Resorts is cutting the cost of its pass for young skiers and snowboarders ahead of the 2026-2027 season

© National Post