By: Dr Aqueel Ahmad Pandith / Mehvish Shakeel

In today’s fast-paced and achievement-driven society, we are witnessing a disturbing rise in personality issues and emotional distress among children. A significant yet often underestimated cause of this psychological damage is comparison.

Children are compared in various ways—between siblings, cousins, classmates, or even neighbors. Some parents compare academic performance, while others focus on physical appearance, clothing, family background, or wealth. These comparisons, though sometimes subtle or unintentional, can leave a lasting imprint on a child’s developing self-concept.

As an educator and a student of Clinical Psychology, I have closely observed how comparison damages children emotionally and mentally. One case that deeply moved me involved a young girl who constantly felt neglected. She believed her parents loved her elder sister more—and sadly, this belief was rooted in reality. Her parents openly favored the elder sibling, often ignoring the emotional needs of the younger one. Over time, this led to severe personality issues. She experienced deep feelings of rejection, helplessness, and worthlessness. Her distress escalated to suicidal thoughts. Despite taking medication, she found no........

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