Huff, puff. Following Prince Harry and Meghan, Duchess of Sussex’s decision not to bring their children to London in the wake of the failure to grant the family police protection, the public and papers across the nation are lining up for a go on their favourite hobby horse: aren’t the Sussexes a nightmare? What prima donnas, to cancel at the last minute; how cruel, to keep the kids from their grandfather, the King; and what’s Meghan got against the UK, anyway?

Gee, let me think. I’m no particular fan of the Duke and Duchess – royalty makes me nauseous, aspirational lifestyle nonsense bores me to tears – but you don’t need to be a devotee to see how irrational the public’s attitude to the couple is. Were we in some kind of warped, collective romantic relationship – the nation and the Sussexes – we’d be the aggrieved, bitter ex. The kind who corners you at a bar........

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