I woke up thinking of the evening that had been. A farmhouse party with friends, that is, my husband’s friends and their partners. An early start to the evening. A riverside sunset with a glass of kokum sherbet. Splash time in the pool and table tennis. Delicious snacks passed around. Followed by dinner.

It had, in many ways, been familiar. I had known these friends for years. We had met on many occasions. Evenings had played out similarly. And yet, this one felt different.

I retraced the moments in my head.

Dressing up at home, I looked forward to the evening. In just a few hours, I was dangling my legs over a stream. Soon after, I jumped into the pool; getting into my swimwear needed no coaxing. When a song I liked played, I found myself doing a ‘little jig’, unbeknownst to how it looked or who was looking. I joined in for a game of table tennis. When my topspin was on point, my cheers were boisterous. When I missed a sitter, the jeers got me laughing.

The evening felt light. I felt content. But what exactly had been different?

For as long as I can remember, I have always been passionate about my academic and professional life. Over nearly two decades, I have built and straddled many professional identities —........

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