It is my unfortunate duty, as spokesman for the Norwegian Nobel Committee, to inform you that you are horrendously inadequate to even vaguely receiving the Nobel Peace Prize.

The Nobel Peace Prize is officially given out to people who actually have a NOBLE character (please forgive our small, somewhat humorous play on English wording), but true none the less. Your character has, in truth, often made us wonder if you have any spark of true decency at all.

We keep hoping to see some degree of that in you, but the vigilance required for it has become exceedingly tiring of late. When you state to Netanyahu and the world that you would agree to oust the Palestinians out of their homeland and build Trump hotels and golf courses there it does make one wonder if you have even the slightest shining of human understanding and kindness in that genius you claim to have.

The qualifications one would need to have would be ethical, straightforward, honest, unbiased, friendly and charitable. You do well on the straightforward part, Mr. Trump, the rest you would have to really severely do some work on. You could add ‘commanding’ to those attributes, but we know you would use the wrong meaning of it.

Since we know that you would argue ruthlessly against this decision of ours, Mr. Trump, we have made a list of the actions and speeches you have made that totaled together........

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