A recent Pew Research Center poll revealed that nearly three quarters of Americans believe that there is a heaven which is defined as a place where people who have lived a devout life are eternally rewarded. This got me wondering how hard it is to get into the “good place” and what are my chances of gaining admission, thus avoiding the Grim Reaper?

One religious group believes that only 144,000 souls will be allowed in and, since there have already been over 100 billion people born, getting in could be very difficult. Sure, I have a better shot than people like Attila the Hun or Jack the Ripper or Bill Belichick, but I fear that there are a lot of humans that are (or were) much more pious than myself. Even if billions make it, I’m worried about my chances.

So, since the odds of me getting that eternal reward don’t seem too promising, I need a Plan B. I need a plan that will allow me to dodge the Grim Reaper altogether.

My first thought was to buy an indulgence (a get out of hell free card) but, unfortunately, they were discontinued in the Middle Ages thanks to that party pooper, Martin Luther. So that option is off the table.

Reincarnation seemed like a good alternative to dying, although I probably haven’t........

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