When I was 14, my best friend would greet me with a hug every time I saw her. Did I mention our lockers were right next to each other? That might sound excessive, especially if you relate to Instagram videos like the one captioned: “when the huggy friend tries to give the un-huggy friend a hug.”

Unlike the video, my friend and I fell into the “huggy” category and easily picked up on each other’s bids. Coined by psychologists Julie and John Gottman in their well-known research on relationships, “an emotional bid is when one person makes a gesture to another person that communicates an attempt to connect,” Charlynn Ruan, a licensed clinical psychologist and the founder of Thrive Psychology Group, told HuffPost.

"Emotional bids" aren't just for couples, they're for everyone who wants to connect.

“Though the Gottmans studied romantic relationships, bids are part of every relationship,” she told HuffPost. “A child might say, ‘Look at me, mum!’ A dog might drop a ball at your feet. A friend might send you a text or meme. These are all bids.”

If your friendships aren’t as close as you’d like them to be, paying attention to bids can help you feel more connected. Read on for expert advice on how to recognise and respond to bids.

How to tell if a friend is making a bid.

“Bids can be verbal and direct or nonverbal and indirect,” New York City licensed mental health counsellor Tracy Vadakumchery, also known as The Bad Indian Therapist, told HuffPost. Examples of nonverbal bids include smiling, sighing, frowning, and pointing to an object. She explained that people with social anxiety may use nonverbal gestures due to a fear of rejection, for example, making eye contact before looking away.

But, even when bids involve direct, verbal communication, they can be misinterpreted. “An example is small talk, which isn’t necessarily about polite social behaviour,” Vadakumchery said. “Sometimes, it’s a way to test the waters and see if........

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