Marriages don’t deteriorate overnight. There’s often a gradual decline, sometimes over years or decades, that leads to an eventual breaking point and makes divorce inevitable.

We asked now-divorced men to reveal the moment that signalled their marriages were finally over for good. Here’s what they said:

1. When my son mentioned ‘mommy’s new friend.’

“I should have known it was over when she said at dinner that she didn’t know whether she loved me anymore. I should have known it after 18 months of sleeping in separate bedrooms. I should have known it when she stopped demonstrating any positive or negative emotions toward me. I should have known it after spending a holiday weekend with our young son on a road trip that she declined to take with us. I should have known it after I saw her missing wedding ring upon returning home from that trip. I should have known it when she moved out the next day, driving away with our little boy in the back seat. But I didn’t. Still, I hoped. And then, two weeks later, my son innocently mentioned a dog and some little girls he had been playing with. They belonged to ‘mommy’s new friend.’

‘Did you have a sleepover at mommy’s new friend’s house?’

‘Yes.’

I never knew a one-word answer from a child could be so lethal and life-changing. I thought I might die, right then. That’s when I knew.” ― Matthew

2. When she said ‘I hate you’ and meant it.

“Like the end of most marriages, mine included a lot of dominoes tipping into the next, but there always seems to be that first domino that starts the process. My ex-wife made arguing an Olympic sport. During one fight over something I can’t even recall, she looked at me red-faced and yelled, ’I hate you,’ and I knew she meant it. There is no coming back from that four-letter word.” ― Bill

3. When I realised sleeping in the guest room was better than sleeping next to my wife.

“One typical winter day I came down with some horrible sickness and quarantined myself in the guest bedroom to avoid spreading my plague to my wife. After I recovered, I realized I preferred staying in the guest room. I am still a strong believer in the fact that most people sleep better alone, but it does create a literal separation between the couple. Then I started noticing other differences and changes in us as individuals........

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