The author voting in the primaries three days before giving birth.

At 38 years old, after a breakup, a move and a series of dating app experiences that served only to provide my comedian friend with material for an entire year of stand-up shows, I decided to pursue single parenthood.

For me, motherhood had always been a dream, both in that it’s been a lifelong desire and seemed as unattainable as most dreams do. Some of this stemmed from societal assumptions of parenthood; a two-parent household that is preceded by dates wildly more successful than any I’d ever been on, followed by marriage, and, even in this era of delayed pregnancy and scientific breakthroughs in assisted reproduction, the loud ticking of a biological clock.

And, more pressingly and personally: did I deserve the responsibility, joys, and privileges of motherhood? A lifetime of often-crushing people-pleasing and imposter syndrome, coupled with the prospect of an administration that almost immediately began to roll back access to reproductive healthcare and instituted critical threats to human rights, plagued my first trimester even more than my newly fluctuating hormones.

Compared to so many others, I was lucky. It was an easy subway ride to the fertility clinic, and I snagged early morning appointments that barely interfered with work. I sent emails from the beautifully appointed waiting room of the Midtown office, and joked with the nurses who had the misfortune of taking my blood for the overwhelming battery of tests required for any fertility journey.

Sometimes, I walked the three miles home from the clinic, stopping for a toasted bagel with vegan cream cheese from my favourite bodega and handing out information on New York’s Prop 1 ballot initiative and voter registration packets along the way.

And, though I hadn’t dared to let myself believe it would, could, work, the third pregnancy test flashed positive a month before the election. For a month, I carried this perfect, barely-real secret with me as I sat in work meetings lobbying for reproductive medicine access, as I canvassed and phone-banked for the full........

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