'Narcissistic Collapse' Is When Things Get Dangerous – Here’s How To Protect Yourself

Experts break down how you can respond to deescalate, rather than fuel, the situation.

Culture & Parenting Reporter, HuffPost

Sometimes, a person’s reaction to criticism or scrutiny can feel wildly disproportionate, escalating quickly from defensiveness to blame shifting and outright rage. The current president often makes headlines for these kinds of reactions, which draw widespread attention as things quickly spiral on a public stage.

In other situations, it might show up in your own life – in a partner, boss, family member or ex who seems unable to tolerate even mild criticism without lashing out or trying to control the narrative. Mental health experts say this reactiveness can be a common trait in narcissists, and the specific phenomenon may reflect something known as “narcissistic collapse.”

“Narcissistic collapse is what happens to a narcissist when they experience an ego-injury that generates feelings of shame or challenges their false sense of self,” Hannah Alderete, a licensed mental health counselor and the author of “Break Free From Narcissistic Mothers,” told HuffPost. “The biggest threat to the narcissist is that their vulnerability is witnessed by others and they can no longer maintain a facade of power or authority.”

Narcissists feed off external validation to maintain a carefully cultivated image that they are superior, special and extraordinary. But beneath that facade is a deep-seated sense of shame and insecurity – proof that they are ordinary, flawed human beings.

As a result, anything that threatens their power, status or image – even something seemingly minor – can trigger narcissistic collapse.

“It’s a collapse of a person’s inflated self-image, sense of control and psychological stability when that image can no longer be maintained,” said Marie-Line Germain, author of “Narcissism at Work: Personality Disorders of Corporate Leaders” and a professor of human resources and leadership at Western Carolina University.

“It happens when the external validation, admiration or identity structures that sustain the individual’s sense of self are threatened or withdrawn – through criticism, rejection, or loss of status,” she explained. “Without those supports, the underlying fragility of the person’s self is exposed.”

When this happens, things can escalate quickly, at least emotionally speaking.

If you find yourself on the receiving end of this kind of behaviour, your response........

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