In a twist of irony, in my 40th year on this planet, I received a Barbie Doll from my daughter. I never bought her one in my joyless, righteous, feminist young mother avatar. I may have never bought it, but I have observed the doll for its response to the zeitgeist, just like our homegrown Amul girl. In February 2020, Barbie’s creator — the American toy company, Mattel — launched a Barbie Wellness Collection. The Fitness Barbie came dressed in leggings and a pink tank top, armed with a set of hand weights, a gym bag, a yoga mat, a hula hoop, a water bottle, and a protein bar. Because Barbie is never wrong, fitness, wellness, and health are in vogue. And so are puppies that the Fitness Barbie carries for self-care.

Sitting in an airport lounge waiting for an ungodly long connecting flight, I’m already shaking in terror at the prospect of being bombarded with kale, baked “fries,” matcha, milks with no milk in them, sugar-free sweets, and alcohol-free cocktails. I’m leaving my privileges and stubbornness at the immigration counter. There’s no getting away now from the health-ers, propped up by the multi-billion dollar health and wellness industry, which........

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