I was listening to the First Minister talking about the government’s new policies on trains this week and how it’s going to mean more money in people’s pockets, and less CO2 in the sky, and how it proves once and for all that this government really does strive for what's best for Scotland, but it was all a bit yeah-yeah, in-one-ear-and-out-the-other to be honest, because the only thing I could think of was: we’re going to able to drink on trains again! The booze is back! Yay!

Not that it ever went away, not really. I’m thinking of the group of ladies across the aisle from me on the 17.45 to Edinburgh sharing a lively bottle of prosecco in flagrant violation of Railway Byelaw 4 (2). And of the former Member of Parliament for Paisley and Renfrewshire South who really should have known better. And I’m thinking of myself as well actually, as it has been known for me to sneak a can or two of M&S G&T on the train because I spit in the face of Railway Byelaw 4 (2); the law means nothing to rebels like me.

The truth, in fact, is that the law always meant nothing, and no-one, except the most swotty and the most tutty, ever paid attention to it, and the staff never enforced it and why would they? I was on a Glasgow-Edinburgh recently and a group of lads got on at Falkirk High and cracked open the Buds and the conductor came along and didn’t say anything and I wouldn’t expect her to: why would a member of staff on their own be expected to stop a group of people drinking? The management........

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