The Greens are surely due the nation's gratitude for backing a campaign to elevate the Scottish Morning Roll to UNESCO world heritage status. They're obviously keen to address tired and lazy accusations that they are little more than a party for Scotland's salon Sandinistas and Bearsden Bolsheviks. What better way of doing this than by choosing a humble staple of quotidian working-class life?

You have to start somewhere and so, rather than mock them, we should be encouraging them. I'm reliably informed that the Scottish Greens didn't arrive at this intervention lightly. It seems a research group was established to visit, incognito, disadvantaged communities; compile a list of everyday working-class items and then break into workshops to discuss ways to hitch their hybrid SUVs to them.

Several other products were considered, including the banana fritter, the black pudding supper, the macaroon bar and the Cheeky Vimto (port and WKD Blue, seeing as you're asking). In the end though, the Scottish Greens plumped for the stalwart, oven-fired comestible which acts as the drey-horse of affordable Scottish cuisine.

I feel, though, that the Greens require to finesse and refine their sincere attempt to protect the integrity of the Scottish morning roll. Look, I get that we've all experienced that frustration of visiting a local street food market in Cancun and seeing what looks suspiciously like a poor imitation of the Scottish morning roll concealed under a stack of crumbly cotija cheese, chili powder and fresh lime juice.

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