During the Holyrood election campaign, the Scottish Greens have been criticised for seeking to ban greyhound racing, horse-racing and Donald Trump’s golf clubs. However, Kevin McKenna believes Ross Greer & Co shouldn’t stop there.

Ten days out from the Scottish election, the Scottish Greens are eagerly scanning our cultural landscape for more activities to ban. It’s all for our own good, of course and we should be grateful to the Greens for exercising such a keen duty of care for wur pure mental health and physical wellbeing.

Thus far, the Bearsden Bolshevists have already managed to get greyhound racing banned, and even though there are no working dog tracks in Scotland, as always with this party, it’s the thought that counts. And if you’re even thinking about irresponsible behaviour then you must be made to think again.

Last week, they signalled their intention to ban horse-racing too. And when their UK leader, Zach Polanski visited Scotland he suggested removing Donald Trump from ownership of his Scottish golf courses because he’d started “illegal and unpopular wars” and called for these resorts to come under public ownership. Now, I’m no fan of Scotland’s private golf courses and the dreadful food-stained blazer class that belongs to them. It’s just that, if Mr Polanski were to apply this reasoning across the UK then thousands of golf courses would be run by local authorities whose governing parties were responsible for illegal wars in Iraq, Afghanistan, Ireland and the Falkland Islands.

The Trump International group which runs the American President’s Scottish golf interests responded rather cruelly to Mr Polanski’s threat. They called the man who once claimed to a BBC news reporter he could enlarge her breasts by hypnosis, an “imbecile”.

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