Ask Janice: 'I still miss my ex - why wasn’t I good enough?'

Four years on, and I still miss my ex, whereas he has moved on big time.

He is engaged and appears to be very happy.

He ended our relationship because apparently, we weren’t compatible.

He said we wanted different things in life.

I thought we wanted the same things.

I follow them on social media, and everything he is doing with her is what I would have done, so why wasn’t I good enough?

This isn’t about being good enough; it is about compatibility, love, lust, attraction, and many other things.

If your ex wasn’t feeling those things with you, then he did you a massive favour by being honest and ending your relationship.

Before social media and mobiles, when a relationship ended, apart from a chance meeting or hearing a bit of gossip, that was it; there was no delving into each other’s lives.

Whereas now, you can track your exes' every movement on social media, which is self-destructive, and the reason why you haven’t moved on from him in four years.

Whatever you feed, it grows, and the best way to end something is to let it starve, and this includes your obsession with your ex.

So, withdraw your energy from his life and focus on you and your future happiness.

When you do, the bitterness will fade, and you will attract positive people into your life instead of repeatedly igniting flames of ‘it should have been me’ every time you see them.

My husband is constantly on his laptop or mobile, or both!

Throughout dinner, his phone pings. After dinner, he is on video calls with his mates or gaming.

I don’t think I am being unreasonable in expecting some quality time together, but he says I’m happy to watch my soaps, so what’s the harm?

But I only watch rubbish TV as there isn’t much else to do.

I am lonely and would love to have some interaction and fun in my life, but how can I change things?

Don’t underestimate the power these addictive gadgets can have over someone.

When problematic patterns emerge which interfere with your homelife, then you are right to be concerned.

It’s not enough for him to brush you off with flippant comments, so make a point of telling him clearly and concisely how you feel.

Yes, you might be in the same room night after night, but if you’ve become a piece of furniture, then no wonder you are lonely.

Ask him to decide which times are tech-free and plan activities together which you’ll both enjoy.

Tell him you miss him and give him the chance to miss you too by joining a club or gym to get you socialising again.

Hopefully, he just needs a tech-free wakeup call to remind him he is not an android, but one half of a married couple.

Got a question for our agony aunt?

Email askjanice@glasgowtimes.co.uk

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