‘Being gay feels like a liability again’: More LGBTQ+ workers are staying in the closet

More LGBTQ+ employees are shielding themselves from scrutiny by becoming less open at work. But that self-protection can also keep existing power structures intact.

[Photo: Fang Zhou/Getty Images]

For much of the last decade, corporate America told a tidy story about progress: Pride logos, employee resource groups, executives marching in parades. The implication was that the workplace closet—the quiet calculation LGBTQ+ employees make about how much of themselves to reveal at work—was slowly disappearing.

Talk to enough queer professionals today, though, and a different picture emerges. Corporate America is still tricky to navigate. And, after years of people leaving, the closet is starting to fill up again: In January, the Human Rights Campaign (HRC) reported that nearly half of LGBTQ+ adults are now less open about their identity than a year ago.  

Katy, who requested to go by a pseudonym to protect her anonymity in the office, has been married to her wife for ten years. They share two children. She’s publicly gay. Yet at work, she doesn’t share pictures or mention her family.

Sean, who similarly requested his first name be changed, is a mid-30s gay man who’s been out to friends and family since college. He regularly participates in gay sports leagues and volunteers with a local Pride organization. Work is different—he’s been at his current job for just over a year and “definitely talks around” his personal life.

“I’m not ashamed to be gay,” Sean tells me, “but this company is very conservative, and I just can’t afford to rock the boat.”

I believe him. I’m gay and not hiding it: if you Google my name, you’ll find bylines about Heated Rivalry and Grindr. But even at progressive companies, I’ve caught myself omitting pronouns from certain stories (“the person I’m dating” instead of “the guy”) for various reasons, including one very outspokenly religious coworker who I assumed would become uncomfortable with any gay revelations. (And I think correctly, judging by their current social media output.)  

I did the same thing with another coworker who’d made remarks that skirted the border of homophobia. Plus, frankly, sometimes on a Monday, I just want to engage in water-cooler small talk without having to educate people.

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